I Want to Experience Pain and Suffering
Everyone who has ever lived has suffered or gone through pain. We may not
have suffered the same, but we have suffered none the less. I completed my
first marathon on 2 June 2019. I went through a whole new level of suffering
and pain, and it was not all physical. Pain and suffering allow us to grow; how
we respond to it makes us who we are. How we frame the experience is the most
important part of it. Whenever I would get nervous about the race, I would
frame it as excitement and not stress. I smile and feel good when I’m excited
about something. I did not have to deal with nerves at all from the time I got
on the bus until the race started because I continued to view the feeling in my
gut as excitement. When the horn blew to start the race, I looked at my friend
and said, “It just got real.” Again, smile on my face and not a bit
of nerves or anxiety about the coming 26.2 miles of running that was going to
take me 7 hours and 35 minutes to finish.
I discovered some things about myself in this experience. I was way under
trained. I dealt with runner’s knee for a long time during my training period
which kept me from running for almost two weeks. During that time, I learned
about the limitations of my body and the amount of care I needed to give it to
get to the starting line. I pondered on multiple occasions the possibility of
dropping down to the half-marathon to better assure my success since I had run
that distance during training
The Deadwood, SD Mickelson Trail Marathon starts with a 13.1-mile uphill
struggle. The grade is around 3% and is quite wearing on mind and body. The
second half is pretty much all downhill except for a short period near the end
where it comes up some and then drops again. Around mile 8 I had to take a
bathroom break and it really slowed me down. I wasn’t last until after this
point. My pace was enough to make the cutoff time of 7 hours until my detour to
the port-o-potty. I spent the better part of 6 hours virtually alone aside from
my good friend making sure I had what I needed over mile or so of the last
five.
I have given the race much thought since then. What could I have done
different? What mindset did I have that was weak or defeating? When was I fresh
and motivated despite my pain? All these answers come from introspection. I
have just completed reading David Goggins’s book. He speaks to mindset and
determination often. He was able to complete three hell weeks for the Navy
Seals before finally becoming a Seal. It was not as much his skill that got him
through, but his heart. I would encourage people to read his book but be
warned, it is not for the faint of heart. He cusses through the whole book
using quite a few F bombs, so if you are offended easily by this then maybe
find another book to inspire you to overcome great adversity and fear. You will
be missing out, however. His story is amazing, and it helped me to realize the
amount of physical and mental struggle we can endure if we can push beyond the
limits of our thinking. If there is anyone on this earth that could help you
discover what it will take to overcome a monumental amount of suffering to grow
stronger, it would be this guy.
The bottom line is, if you are to grow as a person, endure the difficulties
of life, and find great reward at the end, you will need to go through pain and
suffering. Don’t be afraid of it, embrace it. To live a life of comfort and
“playing it safe” may feel nice, but you will not have truly lived.
I’m not saying be reckless, I’m saying to not be afraid to fail and go through
pain. These are inevitable and will produce the most growth.